Duranko Golf

Golf Jokes

Purr – GolfToons 80

Purr - GolfToons 80 shows a dog and a cat dressed for golf looking over a scorecard, an original golf cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons.

Purr. What is your golfing animal spirit? Purr Golf. Are you a silky swinger that slinks around the course, purring like a cat and chasing the occasional birdie? Are you a mutt that doggedly digs shots out of bunkers to save pars? Or maybe you are the bear that hibernates for a dozen holes, then […]

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Fake News – GolfToons 79

Fake News GolfToons 79 shows two golfers looking at a score card and one claiming Fake News, an original golf cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons.

Recounts and Fake News. Topics ripped from recent headlines that, unfortunately, at times, overlap with golf. After all, golf does involve recounts and verification.   Every golfer has probably endured the dreaded suspect scorecard moment when comparing scorecards; the numbers just don’t jibe. We’re not talking about the occasional errors in addition or the 6 that

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Small But Mighty

Aerial view of Palm Beach Par 3 Golf Course seen from the Atlantic Ocean and included in article by Michael Duranko of GolfToons titled 'Small but Mighty' originally published in The Golf Supplier.

Bigger doesn’t always mean better The Golf Supplier originally published ‘Small But Mighty’ about the Palm Beach Par 3 Golf Course on 12/9/2020 as part of the Travel section. See other articles by Michael Duranko. The Palm Beach Par 3 Golf Course is stunning. Family-friendly and challenging to any golfer, regardless of skill set.  When

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Buried Lie – GolfToons 72

Buried Lie - GolfToons 72 is an original golf cartoon showing a casket carried towards a hole that has been created under a golf hole and pin by Marty Glass

Buried Lie Buried Lie. Golf can be a lifetime pursuit, giving it a unique status in the world of sport. So deep is their commitment to the game, oftentimes when golfers pass on friends and family memorialize them in special ways. Famed golfers will have golf courses or holes named in their honor.   Upstanding

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Wait Loss – GolfToons 66

Wait Loss is a golfer on the tee box has cob webs growing on him because he is waiting, slow play is a problem in golf. An original illustration by Marty Glass of GolfToons

Wait Loss If golf has an Achilles heel, it’s time. Wait Loss. It’s an issue on the PGA Tour. It’s an issue when managing a golf course and a problem with both public and private play around the globe. Overall, It’s an issue that doesn’t help the game. Don’t get me wrong, though. I am

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Athletes – GolfToons 65

Athletes. Golfers are athletes as well, despite what might what non-golfers may say. Original Golf Cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons

Athletes To start my freshman year at Michigan State University I showed up at Hubbard Hall to find two of my roommates were in the MSU Marching Band.  They practiced every day, rain or shine.  Both were athletes in a golfing sort of way.  Vince played French horn and Phil was a tuba player, carrying

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Golf Press – GolfToons 62

Golf Press shows a golfer on the tee box pressing anogther golfer's head into the ground with the caption PRESS, an original golf cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons

Golf Press Golf Press. You wanna press me? Do ya? I’ll show you a press. You like this press? The press is similar to the double or nothing bet and is generally invoked at a critical point in the match. The level of emotion accompanying a press is proportionate to the amount of money wagered.

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Chip Lagwell – GolfToons 59

Hamilton Chip Lagwell is introduced in this original golf cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons

Hamilton Chip Lagwell III When non-golfers conjure up images of golfers they tend to envision someone like Hamilton Lagwell III, fondly referred to as “Chip”. One of those guys often found at private country clubs or expensive destination golf resorts. We all know the type, but do they really exist? Possibly, but that specimen is

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Father O’Fairway – GolfToons 57

Father O'Fairway is introduced in this original golf cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons

Father O’Fairway Introducing Father O’Fairway. The Most Reverend O’Fairway hails from County Clare, Ireland where he grew up playing the sport of golf from the time he was young lad. He plays religiously but almost exclusively midweek, as his weekends are occupied by priestly duties. Father O’Fairway’s love of golf is rooted in his belief

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Equipment Excuses – GolfToons 52

Blame the Equipment is a fictional scene at the 19th hole with golf clubs sitting at a bar and commiserating, an original golf cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons.

“It’s not me, can’t be” Golf Equipment Excuses. You gotta blame something when a simple shot goes astray. Fat shots, hosels, thin-to-win, pulls, pushes, ducks, s***** and worm burners. The ball is just sitting there, how hard can it be? Especially if you practice. But the errant shot happen to every golfer, at every level.

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Cradle of Golf – GolfToons 35

Two archeologists in Africa find a skeleton with a golf club, challenging Scotland as the Cradle of Golf, an original golf cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons

Challenge the origins of golf and you are treading on sacred Scottish turf. The Cradle of Golf? At the website scottishgolfhistory.org the site states it plainly in this soliloquy: “Being the proof as to why golf is definitely, certainly, unquestionably, without doubt, beyond question, indubitably, undeniably, irrefutably, incontrovertibly, incontestably, unmistakably, categorically, decidedly, unequivocally Scottish. Really.” Darn. They take

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Golf Compliments – GolfToons 19

A foursome of golfers on the putting green with three golfers offering compliments to the dismay of the putter, an original golf cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons

Can a compliment be an act of gamesmanship? Possibly. Allow me to explain unwanted compliments The frustration of a birdie putt that comes up short can cloud one’s mind with unspoken expletives. While sapping the sincerity from well intended compliments. Conversely, a compliment delivered with a smirk can be unsettling enough to linger to the

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Quiet Please – GolfToons 16

Quiet Please, a man at his dining room table with kids fighting and his wife pointing a threatening finger, holds up a 'Quiet Please' sign, an original golf cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons

There are times when we all would like a bit of peace and quiet: Early morning breakfasts, retreats to nature, and those moments when you’re trying to concentrate on a difficult task.  The sight of a marshal hoisting their “Quiet Please” paddle during a golf tournament often makes me wish I had one of those

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Just Short Pose – GolfToons 15

A golfer holding his pose on the tee box as his ball ends up short of the green and the ripples can be seen in the pond in from of the green. An original Golf cartoon by Marty Glass of GolfToons

You hit a crisp shot, sending a towering blow tracking on a great line. You are frozen, in a motionless follow-through pose watching your ball descend towards the green. “Please, please be enough,” you mutter. Then, catastrophe, Just Short Pose. Splash! Stunned and still in full pose, your jaws slackens, your eyes widen and you

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Hit it and Hope – GolfToons 13

Two golfers on a putting green that has massive breaks making the putt impossible. Hit it and Hope is an original Golf Illustration by Marty Glass of GolfToons

Hit it and Hope. Every now and then you face a putt that beckons words like intimidating or unnerving. The down hill left to right slider. The up-hiller that crests midway, then accelerates to a killer downhiller. Or the dreaded short but hard-breaker, also known as the heartbreaker because anytime you miss a two footer

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